Getting over your divorce is never quick and easy. Research shows us that men take breakups and divorce harder than women. Below are some common hang-ups that often prevent men from getting through a divorce.
- Holding a grudge. Not every divorce is wanted by both spouses. You may feel like your wife didn’t fight hard enough to save your marriage, or she may have cheated on you. Whatever the situation may be, there is a good chance you are holding onto bitter feelings towards her and that will prevent you from moving on with your life after your divorce. Holding a grudge allows you to be a prisoner to her actions and prohibits you from really starting over after divorce. Dealing with the reasons for your divorce may free you to move on with your life.
- Isolation. The loneliness after divorce makes you want to shut the blinds and stay in bed for weeks. Instead of falling prey to isolation, take a little time to decompress, but do not wallow in self-pity. It is impossible to overstate the value of human connection. Force yourself to call your closest friends and get out of the house to do some activities. Get involved in your church, volunteer at a local organization supporting a cause you are passionate about, or join the local gym to work off some stress.
- Refusing to accept responsibility. It is natural to demonize your spouse when going through a divorce. However, divorce should cause some serious introspection and self-reflection. Focusing too much on your spouse’s wrongs can cause you to overlook some personal shortcomings you might need to work on. When a marriage fails, there is typically blame to go around on both sides. You should not be hard on yourself or blame yourself for the divorce, but it is healthy to take an honest look at how you contributed to the marital breakdown.
- Idealizing the past. If you are not the one who asked for the divorce, you might tend to focus on everything that you lost. When you were married, your relationship was part of your identity. Instead of hopelessly reminiscing about how life used to be, think about the possibilities that lie ahead and what you can do to make yourself a more well-rounded human being.
- Counseling. Counseling is not for everyone but it can be useful, even if it is just for a brief period. It is also more socially accepted today than in year’s past, so you should not be worried about any perceived negative stigma.
Surviving a divorce is an emotionally draining process for everyone. When you’re suffering from the pain of divorce, it can be easy to overlook some important legal steps you need to take to protect yourself. Contact Dreyer Law today for a free consultation to talk about the divorce process. We can help you get in touch with counselors and get you back to happiness after your divorce.